I see...

I try sometimes to see my children and myself as other people see us. I imagine that most people think our lives are a little more crazy than they really are, but that is ok. I had a conference with Jeffrey's teacher the other week, and she sees Jeffrey a lot like we do, a sensative very bright little kindergarten boy. People see our twins and wonder who is older since Blake out-weighs Brantley by about 6 pounds! I am finding that people see what they want to see.

Although Andrew's features are not dominant for Downs, I wonder what people see when they look at him. This is just raw truth. I think we all wonder what people think about our children and ourselves regardless of whether we care about what they think or not.

My mother-in-love only has one leg, and when Jeff and I first started dating, I would think about that fact when I first saw her. Wow, she only has one leg. I was probably over-sensative to her needs and would want to do things for her out of respect for her disability. (ok, I probably wanted to earn brownie points with her because I thought her son was hot, but I digress.) But now, after twelve years of marriage, I never think about her only having one leg. She is who she is.

When I look at my child, I don't see a disability and I don't see a diagnosis. I rarely look at him and think, dang, he has Down syndrome. I am struck by this thought, because I was taking pictures of all the kids this weekend. As I was scrolling through them, I came across one that stopped me cold. It waved and washed over me - my child has Down syndrome. It was an odd sensation, and I do not know if I can even describe it. It strangely defines part of who he is and yet it does not, cannot, define who he really is.

He is my child. He is my very precious gift. Jeff and I hold him close after we have put the others to bed and we whisper in his ear, we think you are the yummiest of them all. He is our beautiful baby, our perfect gift, heaven-ordered and heaven-sent. So when I look at him, all I see is Andrew, and that is all that matters.