Moving Out!

My blog has officially moved!

Join me at www.mollyvoth.vpweb.com

Shortly, it will be mollyvoth.com, but it will take a few days. Yay! All my tech stuff in one spot. I'm so happy. Simple. LOVE it when it is simple! :)

calculus, creative or crazy?

so since I'm NOT in the mood for a new spring wardrobe, well, maybe I am, but that is not in the current budget. Thus, I decide that I want to re-do my blog and Heart & Home website. A website is like a child. It requires constant care and attention if you actually want to sell anything off of it. And, my OCD self wants it to look good in the process.

I've been playing with all the various digital photo software and zillions of digital-scrap-booking resources. I'm feeling artsy and creative. I've got some really cute ideas in the works, but what I really need is a crash course in html or whatever programming I really need.

I tried to explain to my kids that when mommy was in college, I programmed my mono-chromatic display beast of a computer in fortran (does anyone even know what that is anymore???), and I could program this beast of a computer to do calculus. While that seems smart, I could really care less about calculus anymore. All I really want to be able to make my blog and website look cute and current and modern and traditional ALL AT THE SAME TIME. So is it progress or regression to go from smart chick (a.k.a. geek/nerd) to a cute chick who has a website to pimp seriously fun t-shirts and purses and a blog to chat about my life on?

I don't know. I guess this is more of a warning that my blog and site may look dramatically different from day to day and hour to hour as my head spins on web-design and a steep learning curve in languages that my middle schooler probably understands better than I do.

more gifts...
so I pull out my childhood Bible (I actually like the version better) and it opens to Colossians 3. And in my 12 year old hand-writing, there are notes in the margin - and these are the 4 words CIRCLED on the page...
thankful
thankfulness
giving thanks
thanksgiving

for the Peace of Christ to rule in your heart, for unity, for the word of Christ to dwell richly in us - whatever I do in word or deed - should be done giving thanks.

Chapter 4 starts that we are to devote ourselves to prayer - (get this) keeping ALERT in it with an attitude of - (you can guess the next part) - an attitude of thanksgiving.

A choice. A choice to be thankful.

The results. unity. peace.

53. holding a new baby
54. true intimacy
55. rainy days
56. time with girlfriends
57. laughter and tears
58. roast beef sandwiches on sale
59. the right song at the right time
60. a day off school
61. words of bloggers who chase God and encourage me to do the same
62. date night
63. a husband who loves me
64. beating "the boss" in Mario Bros with my sons screaming and cheering for me
65. sleeping late
66. new friends
67. little boy snuggles
68. our homebuilders group
69. friends I can be transparent with
70. burning 10 years of documents - washing it go to ash
71. books that inspire me
72. a day that holds little expectations of me - one where "nothing" really HAS to be done
73. teaching my boys to clean their own toilet
74. same boys fighting over who gets to wipe up the urine
75. did I mention laughter?
76. Gracie who made 45 valentines for my kids so I did not have to
77. flowers from my valentine
78. a chiro visit that helped my throbbing headache
79. hot fries made for the neighborhood boys
80. Andrew playing with his "pencil people"
81. a morning of actually feeling well - a chiro visit, a run, a massage
82. SOS message that called me to scoop up my middle schooler and bring him home
83. quiet moments in the car
84. Blake & Poppy's friendship
85. Sophie's successful tonsil surgery
86. fabulous weather - cloudless, sunny 73 degrees
87. God moving my heart to a new place
88. relationships with people I can be real with
89. the book "radical"
90. the book "1000 gifts"
91. the book "simply organized"
92. thankful for hope in a new way of living
93. thankful for Blake getting to go shoot by himself with his Poppy
94. my phone calendar that syncs my life with my computer and my husband
95. little boy giggles early in the am
96. car rides with my hubbie
97. sound of my kids singing "this is the day" on the way to school
98. my sister
99. my parents
100. my in-loves (laws)
101. unexpected visit and time with my brother and sister in law
102. opportunity to help with a wedding
103. selling stuff on Craig's list
104. dinner with my friend
105. a house all to myself

If you have been looking for me...

you could probably find me here...



curled in the glow of this lamp.

I thought that when I quit working that I would be training for a marathon, lunching with friends, keeping a clean house with clean children in it, meals on the table every night promptly at 5:30.

But I was tired. So very soul-tired that I was not sure if I could keep my head up.

At the very end of myself. Tired of trying. Tired of pushing through.

It was time to rest.

Psalm 16:7-8 says, "I will bless the LORD who has counseled me; indeed my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; because HE is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

Over the past year, Jeff and I knew it was time for me to quit working. I went back to work to help us get out of debt. It did not help. My plan needed to be scrapped. (emphasis on MY) And while I have loved God and walked with him since I was a little girl, He was NOT continually before me like the verse in Psalm says. I was not listening to God's counsel, not listening to His Word, but listening to my own. Maybe you can relate? Not always, mind you, but enough to get me off track and weary. Tired. Burnt out.

The beauty of a blog is you can look back over your own life. It is the only journal I have ever really kept, quite a public one, but my story. The good, the bad, the ugly, the glorious.

When Andrew was born, I soaked in God's Word. Expectations and pride were slowly being stripped away. But the chase of the "American Dream" had its claws in me.

Funny/ironic/telling that the amount of blog posts correlates to the amount of time I was spending with God?

As I sit in my comfy chair - sometimes early in the am before every one is awake - but more likely late into the night that turns into wee morning when everyone is asleep, I have sat with God. And like lovers who have been separated by circumstance with a chance to finally get back together, we are leaving no area untouched.

Every piece is still out on the table, and we are looking at each one.

Inter-twined with scripture itself, I am pouring through...

"Radical" by David Platt and my heart is being turned away from materialism and into the heart of God for global missions and meeting the needs of the poor and needy.

"Made to Crave" - reminding me that I am made to crave - and what I eat is what I will crave. If I eat sugar, I crave sugar. As I feast on things spiritual, I crave more of Him. Truth. Truth. Truth.

"1000 Gifts" - my notebook is being filled with my gifts as I look for God every day. And I find that my gifts are not "things" but people - family, friendships, relationships. And the gifts are good. All the gifts are good.

"Simply Organized"- a practical help in stepping away from the stuff - to live simply. A really good read and a great source of conversations with hubbie. Bless him, he has yet to go weary of me handing him a book and saying, "read just this page!"

"Streams in the Desert","Come away, my beloved", "Strong Women, Soft Hearts", "Untangled Relationships", "Ruthless Trust" are also in that pile. I've yet to crack into "Crazy Love" but it is on the table.

So, if you have missed me, I am sitting in my chair. If you would like to join me, my sofa is always open. There may be dust on the furniture and laundry undone, but we can feast on time together.

Because these are my gifts to delight in each day...

Brantley helping Andrew with his sight words.


A January case of flu that left us all in pieces on the sofas.



Field trip bus ride. Snuggled close.



Cold morning. Hot shooters. Warm guns.


Brothers coaching.

I'm finding my way home.

Delight...

In my land of boys and testosterone world - young males love to play guns and my life revolves around feeding bottomless pits, trying to keep the family room from smelling like a wet dog, and keeping the fridge full...


God remembers that He made me a girl, and that while I LOVE all these boys (even those that are not mine and live here from the neighborhood), I also LOVE being a girl.

A few weeks ago, I got a call from a girlfriend. Her friend's daughter is getting married in April and they needed an event planner - would I be interested? Ummmm, let me hesitate .5 seconds. YES! So, I met with the stunning bride and her stunning mom a few weeks ago. I assured them that I would obsess appropriately over their big day so they could relax and enjoy it. We were a match made in heaven.

Today, I left boy-world and got to play in girl world. What a DELIGHT. A quick trip to the bridal shop to get a swatch of the bridesmaid dress (also stunning). A quick diet coke stop. Girl music on my iPod. A trip to the venue to actually see the site. (Also stunning). And a stop at the wholesale florist shop.

My bride wants vintage wedding. Yellow flowers with a touch of cobalt blue. It was time to play.

Re-fill the diet coke.

Pick up boys from school.

Settle boys with snacks and video games.

Dig in my garage and china cabinet. Unload van.

Take this...


and this...


add a half hour of snipping and delight...and get this...






I love being a girl. A beautiful day of delight.

#1-#29

1. Warm bed with clean sheets
2. Soft boy cheeks
3. Andrew pats on my face
4. Brantley hugs
5. Blake’s smile over a hot plate of pancakes
6. Brantley’s hugs
7. Hot soapy showers
8. Diet coke in a Styrofoam cup
9. Phone call from an old friend
10. Clean counter tops
11. Kisses in the middle of the day
12. Jeff’s laugh
13. Andrew kisses
14. Brantley snuggles
15. Sweet manners after dinner
16. Andrew kisses at bed time
17. Family wii bowling
18. Brantley helping Andrew with flashcards
19. Jeff’s last day of being 11
20. Birthday donuts
21. Dinner with mimi & poppy
22. Cooking with Blake
23. Conference with Andrew’s teacher – staff who loves him
24. A new intern that has fallen in love with my son
25. Clean toilets
26. Phone calls with my sister
27. Silence in the car before the kids pile in
28. Noise in the car when the kids pile in
29. Pony tails and t-shirts

1000 Gifts

I have lots on my heart for the year 2011. For the first time in a long time, I am simply Molly. Not Molly the employee, Molly the volunteer, Molly the this or Molly the that. Yes, I am still wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, but I'm just me. I have been purposefully chasing God, and weeding out distractions. Evaluating everything. Everything from the clothes in my closets to the stuff in my junk drawer to what is on my iPod - to what I watch on TV - what I eat - drink - how I spend my time - and on and on and on. I have dumped all the pieces on the table and am asking God what stays - and what goes.

I'm keeping Jeff and the kids.

The rest is up for debate!

On this journey of SIMPLIFY, I have stumbled upon a book by Ann Von-something or other (sorry, Ann, will get you correctly linked later) called One Thousand Gifts. You may stop now and head to Amazon to buy it. I'll wait. Are you back? Ok, let's continue.

I don't want to spoil the book, but God certainly put it in my path (in multiple places), and one of the things she writes so beautifully about is a challenge/dare a friend suggested to her - to chronicle 1000 gifts in her life.

Now, this may seem strange, or even frivolous, but in the last week, it has been an exercise in experiencing joy in ways I cannot describe. We live in an "oh-poor-me" society - one of spoiled brats, of whom I am the worst offender. We want our way - and faster and easier than ever before. We (ok, I) think that if I pray and love Jesus and try to be a good girl that we will dodge the pain and suffering side of life. What a lie from the pit of hell, but that is another post.

Back to the gifts. When Andrew was born, I had a friend who encouraged me to chronicle 5 things I was thankful for each day after his diagnosis of Down Syndrome. Friend, it was only a few days later that the hand of God was so colored over his life that the burden of fear became lifted and joy took its place. I have taken this new challenge, and started documenting my gifts. It is elementary list scribbled on the white board in my kitchen. It has fascinated my children to see me stop and write these little notes, these little "thank you's."

I have loved God for a long time. I have trusted him for a long time. When life gets difficult (and it does), how much easier it is to fall into the arms of someone who showers you with daily gifts and daily blessings. It makes the hard parts seem part of the beautiful tapestry - woven in - instead of standing out.

Since I may NEVER finish baby books or scrapbooks for my children, this blog may be all they get. I want to tell them how GOOD God is, and that he can be trusted. So, if you see a "1000 Gifts" post, you will know what it is about. I'm going to copy the board tomorrow, so today's list will start with #29.

Dare to join me?

30. 12 birthday candles on an iced cookie
31. Falling into bed and sleeping for 10 hours without waking up
32. Jeff waking us all up in time that we did not have to rush or be irritated about going to church.
33. The kind tram-driver that allows Andrew to sit up front with him - he talks to him like a friend, not a child with special needs, and lets him honk the horn.
34. Sunday school classes that teach our children about Jesus
35. holding hands and praying with my husband
36. sitting with friends that care about us during service
37. a pastor that loves God and preaches his Word
38. an afternoon of just hanging out
39. Brantley planting a kiss smack on my lips as I held him in my arms during worship
40. Jeffrey smiling and being polite to the adults who talked to him today
41. Getting over 1000 pictures scanned and uploaded to my computer
42. Being able to go to the grocery store and afford the food we bought
43. an encouraging email from a friend
44. a massage last night
45. my boys speaking kindly to each other
46. smelly 12 year old boys eating cookies in my garage
47. Andrew hugs
48. working in unity with Jeff to get fun Superbowl food made and kids to bed
49. little boys tucked under covers sleeping peacefully (and healthy)
50. a to-do list for the week that is not long and over-whelming
51. technology that is allowing me to organize and de-clutter all my papers and photos
52. not having to go to bed alone

I would love to know if you start making a list of your gifts! I'm sure Ann would to. Her blog is www.aholyexperience.com

some photos of some of my gifts...

Separation, Isolation or Inclusion?

My Siesta Scripture Memory for the 2nd part of January is "I will bless the LORD who has counseled me; Indeed my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand hand, I will not be shaken."

To learn about Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory, head over here:

There is a post there about living with "hidden disabilities" (neurological issues, autism, etc.) Down Syndrome is not listed (I guess it does not seem "hidden"), but the idea of the support of the church for people with disabilities is obviously on my heart.

I'm writing this at 2:30 in the middle of the night, so the scripture passage seemed even more applicable today since I could not sleep! haha

This Sunday is Sanctity of Life Sunday. Our pastor announced this week that the speaker is a man who came to know Jesus through his special needs child. I teared at the very mention of the whole thing, and I wonder if I show up with a box of kleenex - or do I stay home and cry in the comfort of my bed watching the story unfold via the internet? If you are interested, you can watch on Sunday am by going here: Service times are 9"30 and 11:00 am.

As far a churches go, ours is very "special needs friendly" especially by comparison of other churches. Our Andrew has been "mainstreamed" with the typical kids since birth. We have been blessed by fabulous teachers, etc. It is comforting and soothing to me to drop Andrew off just like I do all my other kids - on the same hall - in the same wing.

So you know, our church is HUGE - like thousands of people, so when I say "hall" and "wings" I really mean it. If you aren't walking quickly, it could take you 15 minutes to trek from one side to the other.

Opposite the children's wing - across a large atrium area, and tucked into the corner is the "Special Needs" wing.

Let me start by saying, I love my church for helping meet the need. They provide a safe, loving place for special need folk. But here is where my heart hurts. IF Andrew wasn't able to be in a typical class - I would have to drop off my "normal" (I prefer typical, but use that word for emphasis here) kids in one wing - and then walk to the other side of the building into the "special needs" area. Like I NEED to be reminded what I am dealing with?!? It would feel (to me, at least) like a quick stab to the heart and another painful reminder that our family is not like other families.

Where I think the church and society has failed is separating and isolating children with special needs into a different locations - all under the banner (and with good intentions) of providing a higher level of care. But, how is someone with special needs EVER going to learn to be a part of the community - and how is the community EVER going to learn how to be a part of the life of someone with special needs, if they are put behind closed doors in the opposite end of the church? It makes my heart hurt.

Perfection is over-rated. Normal (whatever that is) is over-rated. How are the other children ever going to be exposed to, much more, ever be friends with, a child with special needs if they are never given the opportunity?

People have said that children can be cruel, and I am sure that is true, and we have experienced it. But is separation and isolation the real answer? Are we honoring and doing our children a favor by doing this? Or do we invite them into the "regular" classes (with adequate supports for the teacher and other students) so we all learn to live in the same community?

I love and appreciate my church family and pastor more than words can express, so I really don't mean this post as a negative towards them. But I ponder what IS the right answer, exactly, to how this should be handled? I would love to know what you think!