Happy 18 months, Andrew!

Yeah, baby! What a crazy 18 months it has been. If I could describe in one word how I felt hearing that Andrew has Down Syn., it would have been terrified. We quickly moved past the oh poor me, why me phase, thanks to our great God and knowing that He is completely in control and sovereign, but still, I was terrified. What would I do? How would I feel? What would he BE like? I knew the day we took him to the doctor that something was wrong. Here is a picture of him right before we left. He was clean, smelled great, and was wearing a really cute gown, but boy is he yellow!



I was in such shock and then was sooooo scared that we would lose him. It was terrible. But through all of that, I had such hope in my heart. This was our child of passion and he was so damn cute (even yellow) that I could hardly stand it. I was already in love - or so I thought. But that was before I got to know Andrew. It is a funny thing getting to know your own child that you have carried - watching their personality develop. I thought I was in love then, but his smile melts me now in a way I cannot describe. Andrew has surprised and delighted me. I should have know that anyone that can look this cool under the billi-rubin lights was going to be a joy.



Those early days were a struggle of survival. The Lord promised me that I would lie down and sleep, and that I would rise again. I took him at His Word (from Psalms) and forced my way out of bed everyday determined that we were going to make it and enjoy life. And boy, have we. Here is Andrew before we left the hospital that long weekend ago in December...



Many of you have read and prayed and encouraged us along the way, and we survived the first year.

Andrew quickly smiled, rolled over and then eventually (after hundreds of sit ups and sessions on the therapy ball) sat up. I was told he would not walk till he was 2 or 3 and that he would not be able to eat solid food without gagging or having texture problems. But, today, he is standing and cruising furniture. He is sharing McDonald's french fries with his brother, holding his own bottle, and climbing on the furniture. Today he stood in the middle of the room and tried to take a step. The therapists now think he may walk before summer's end. He can say ball,ba-ba (bottle) uh-oh, on top, and, of course DA-DA! He waves bye-bye and gives five. He pulls his brother's hair and I don't think he has figured out yet that he is not three. He stands at the train table and makes train noises as he fights for position. He is the only kid NOT crying when we pick him up from nursery. He loves adults, is as rotton as he can be, and gets mad if you are not giving him a bottle when he hears the microwave beep. (He likes his milk warm.)

I have to say that months 12-18 have been WAY easier than months 1-12. But, most of all, it is amazing and humbling to me to look back and see the hand of God moving and directing us all. We have had amazing therapists and doctors. God has put people in my path with just the right information at just the right time. As I study scripture, I am humbled by how my heart has changed over the last year and a half. I now ask for help from the Home Depot clerk who has cerebal palsy and doesn't speak well; I talk to the young man with Down Syndrome that works out at my gym. I am ashamed to say that before I would not have. Not because of them - but because of ME - how I would feel. I was worried that they would not understand me or that I might somehow embarass them. How silly that is really. Who doesn't want to be spoken to? The heart surgery (mine) has been deep and life-changing.

When Christ said that whatever we do for "these" we do for Him, I now believe he was meaning everyone - absolutely everyone. I used to think that verse meant that we should send money to the poor and needy - as we should - but I believe now that we need to get our hands dirty with the work of making the world a better place for people of all abilites to live. Through the beautiful blue eyes of Andrew, I have gotten a glimpse of how God sees us. Andrew is delighted to be in our company, as I know the Lord delights in us when we seek Him.

He is a precious gift, our son. We are overwhelmed that we get to have him - the little crapper that he is. Don't get me wrong, he is not perfect. He is a little sinner (not angel) just like the rest of our little sinner boys, but he does have a softer heart and a softer edge to him. Oh - and he is capable of cracking himself up which is really funny to watch.

So, I'll step off my soapbox and go and kiss all my boys as they sleep. Happy 18 month b-day, little man. You have come a long way, and we are all so proud.