Honestly Honest

I did something strange this week, even strange for me. In the midst of sick kids, therapy, the final weeks of 1st grade for Jeffrey, and, of course, laundry, I am reading and doing a Bible Study with Jeff on finances and being good stewards of all the things that have been entrusted to us. I was reading the chapter earlier this week on honesty. I honestly thought that I would rate under the "brutally honest" category, but as I sat and read and prayed, I asked God to reveal where I was not honest.

The answer was strange to me because He reminded me of a time when I was a waitress 14 years ago. I was serving Jeff and I didn't charge him and his buddies for drinks. I stole from the company. Now, this may not seem like such a large offense, but whenever I think about honesty, this comes to mind. I was tired of carrying it around with me so I got on the phone and called the company I worked for.

My palms were sweating and the phone rang forever. I was put on hold for FIVE minutes while I waited for a manager to come on the line. Actually, I was on hold for 4 minutes and 43 seconds (there is a timer on my phone) and I told the Lord that really He wouldn't want me to hold more than five minutes, would he? Amazingly enough, the manager I worked for was STILL there and actually remembered me. In a very short conversation, I told her what I had done, that I was sorry, and that even though it was years later, I wanted to make it right. She was quiet for a moment and said, well, good for you - how bout you send me a check for $12.03. So, I wrote her a note yesterday, sent her a check, and a giftcard to Bonefish telling her to take someone she loved to dinner and to consider it interest on the drinks.

I did tell her that we have four boys and I feel that we need men of integrity more than anything today and that if my children ask me if I have stolen something, I can tell them that I had, but that I had made it right. I guess it is never to late to do the right thing. What a dumb little thing to carry around all these years.

I was also convicted of the small lies I tell ALL THE TIME - for example, no, son, we don't have any (fill in the blank) instead of just telling him NO. Or, No, Blake it is ALL GONE when it is NOT all gone. Simple stuff like that. Eeek. This parenting and life thing is hard work.

Here are some quotes from the book I was reading and some Scripture that I just could not ignore...

"Honest behavior confirms to those who do not yet know Him that we serve a Holy God."

"God requires us to be absolutely honest because even the smallest act of dishonesty is a sin. Even the smallest white lie can harden our hearts and make our conscience increasingly insensative to sin."

Romans 13:9-10 "If you love your neighbor as much as you love yourself you will not want to harm or cheat him...or steal from him...Love does not wrong to anyone."

Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion."

But this was the final word...
Jeremiah 5:1 "Roam to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and look now, and take note...If you can find a man, if there is one who does justice, who seeks truth, then I, the LORD will pardon her."

Then the book writes: "The destiny of an entire city hung in the balance. Its future depended upon there being one absolutely honest person. Will you be that person?"

Yes, Lord, I want to be THAT person.