International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day

Ok, so we went from a somewhat serious post to the now not at all serious post. Saw this one on a message board today and I am going to post it here for all my girlfriends. For the profanity sensative, please know that this is meant to be humorous and not offensive. I did not write them, however I did laugh at them. I am editing out the male-bashing ones (you know, the women are superior to men quotes because those irritate me.)


Enough small talk ... here we go...

Today is International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day, so
please send this message to someone you think fits this description.
Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a
Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman! And remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell
happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut
the bitch up with cookies.
(Unknown)
{Note from me on this one. I almost choked that made me laugh so hard!}

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being --
hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
Jane Sellman-

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me
at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible
warning.
-Catherine-

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country.
-Elayne Boosler-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his
house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-