Molly Voth: If you have been looking for me...

you could probably find me here...

curled in the glow of this lamp.

I thought that when I quit working that I would be training for a marathon, lunching with friends, keeping a clean house with clean children in it, meals on the table every night promptly at 5:30.

But I was tired. So very soul-tired that I was not sure if I could keep my head up.

At the very end of myself. Tired of trying. Tired of pushing through.

It was time to rest.

Psalm 16:7-8 says, "I will bless the LORD who has counseled me; indeed my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; because HE is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

Over the past year, Jeff and I knew it was time for me to quit working. I went back to work to help us get out of debt. It did not help. My plan needed to be scrapped. (emphasis on MY) And while I have loved God and walked with him since I was a little girl, He was NOT continually before me like the verse in Psalm says. I was not listening to God's counsel, not listening to His Word, but listening to my own. Maybe you can relate? Not always, mind you, but enough to get me off track and weary. Tired. Burnt out.

The beauty of a blog is you can look back over your own life. It is the only journal I have ever really kept, quite a public one, but my story. The good, the bad, the ugly, the glorious.

When Andrew was born, I soaked in God's Word. Expectations and pride were slowly being stripped away. But the chase of the "American Dream" had its claws in me.

Funny/ironic/telling that the amount of blog posts correlates to the amount of time I was spending with God?

As I sit in my comfy chair - sometimes early in the am before every one is awake - but more likely late into the night that turns into wee morning when everyone is asleep, I have sat with God. And like lovers who have been separated by circumstance with a chance to finally get back together, we are leaving no area untouched.

Every piece is still out on the table, and we are looking at each one.

Inter-twined with scripture itself, I am pouring through...

"Radical" by David Platt and my heart is being turned away from materialism and into the heart of God for global missions and meeting the needs of the poor and needy.

"Made to Crave" - reminding me that I am made to crave - and what I eat is what I will crave. If I eat sugar, I crave sugar. As I feast on things spiritual, I crave more of Him. Truth. Truth. Truth.

"1000 Gifts" - my notebook is being filled with my gifts as I look for God every day. And I find that my gifts are not "things" but people - family, friendships, relationships. And the gifts are good. All the gifts are good.

"Simply Organized"- a practical help in stepping away from the stuff - to live simply. A really good read and a great source of conversations with hubbie. Bless him, he has yet to go weary of me handing him a book and saying, "read just this page!"

"Streams in the Desert","Come away, my beloved", "Strong Women, Soft Hearts", "Untangled Relationships", "Ruthless Trust" are also in that pile. I've yet to crack into "Crazy Love" but it is on the table.

So, if you have missed me, I am sitting in my chair. If you would like to join me, my sofa is always open. There may be dust on the furniture and laundry undone, but we can feast on time together.

Because these are my gifts to delight in each day...