Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Separation, Isolation or Inclusion?


My Siesta Scripture Memory for the 2nd part of January is "I will bless the LORD who has counseled me; Indeed my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand hand, I will not be shaken."

To learn about Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory, head over here:

There is a post there about living with "hidden disabilities" (neurological issues, autism, etc.) Down Syndrome is not listed (I guess it does not seem "hidden"), but the idea of the support of the church for people with disabilities is obviously on my heart.

I'm writing this at 2:30 in the middle of the night, so the scripture passage seemed even more applicable today since I could not sleep! haha

This Sunday is Sanctity of Life Sunday. Our pastor announced this week that the speaker is a man who came to know Jesus through his special needs child. I teared at the very mention of the whole thing, and I wonder if I show up with a box of kleenex - or do I stay home and cry in the comfort of my bed watching the story unfold via the internet? If you are interested, you can watch on Sunday am by going here: Service times are 9"30 and 11:00 am.

As far a churches go, ours is very "special needs friendly" especially by comparison of other churches. Our Andrew has been "mainstreamed" with the typical kids since birth. We have been blessed by fabulous teachers, etc. It is comforting and soothing to me to drop Andrew off just like I do all my other kids - on the same hall - in the same wing.

So you know, our church is HUGE - like thousands of people, so when I say "hall" and "wings" I really mean it. If you aren't walking quickly, it could take you 15 minutes to trek from one side to the other.

Opposite the children's wing - across a large atrium area, and tucked into the corner is the "Special Needs" wing.

Let me start by saying, I love my church for helping meet the need. They provide a safe, loving place for special need folk. But here is where my heart hurts. IF Andrew wasn't able to be in a typical class - I would have to drop off my "normal" (I prefer typical, but use that word for emphasis here) kids in one wing - and then walk to the other side of the building into the "special needs" area. Like I NEED to be reminded what I am dealing with?!? It would feel (to me, at least) like a quick stab to the heart and another painful reminder that our family is not like other families.

Where I think the church and society has failed is separating and isolating children with special needs into a different locations - all under the banner (and with good intentions) of providing a higher level of care. But, how is someone with special needs EVER going to learn to be a part of the community - and how is the community EVER going to learn how to be a part of the life of someone with special needs, if they are put behind closed doors in the opposite end of the church? It makes my heart hurt.

Perfection is over-rated. Normal (whatever that is) is over-rated. How are the other children ever going to be exposed to, much more, ever be friends with, a child with special needs if they are never given the opportunity?

People have said that children can be cruel, and I am sure that is true, and we have experienced it. But is separation and isolation the real answer? Are we honoring and doing our children a favor by doing this? Or do we invite them into the "regular" classes (with adequate supports for the teacher and other students) so we all learn to live in the same community?

I love and appreciate my church family and pastor more than words can express, so I really don't mean this post as a negative towards them. But I ponder what IS the right answer, exactly, to how this should be handled? I would love to know what you think!

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