Just say, NO

I did not win any parenting awards today.

A bunny has taken up with our home. Let me re-phrase. A bunny has tried to take up with our home. He dug a hole by Jeff's office window and we found him in the bushes a few days ago. He is a cute little bugger - grey, floppy ears, you get the gist. We assume he is a wild rabbit and drag the kids out front to see him. He hops into the other section of the bushes.

Next day, we give him lettuce. He finds us charming. Andrew falls in love. We have pictures of the bunny. He comes out and lets everyone pet him. He plays in the yard with Andrew (who says, awwwww, cute).

So today, I take Andrew to swim lessons. Half way through lessons, my cell rings. It is Jeffrey. The conversation goes like this:

"Hi, Mom, what ya doing - are you still at swim lessons?"

me - "yep, what's up?" (he doesn't call unless he wants/needs something.

him - "Oh, nothing - just wanted to let you know" (insert excited child voice here - "that we caught the bunny. His name is Fred. He's a boy - we checked - (like I need another boy) - and we put him in a laundry basket with water and leaves and put another basket over the top to make a cage - and he" - WAIT FOR IT - "is in the kitchen."

me - "no, put him out."

silence

me - "seriously, you caught the bunny? Is this a joke?"

him - "yeah (insert sad child voice here) umm, no, not a joke. We think he is tame. We think he has a home."

me - "good, let's find his home - but, babe, we aren't keeping him. Put him out."

him - "ok, later."

I did not hesitate. I did not blink. I did not waiver No wild bunny is going to live in my laundry basket.

So, I come home. Grey eared Fred is still in my house. I give Jeff (who was in his office) a look that says - "rabbit for dinner?" - and we escort bunny out. He has lived outside this long, Jeff points out to the kids, he'll be fine. We can give him water and lettuce out here.

We gather round and Jeffrey escorts Fred out of the basket. He hops into the bushes. He didn't even cry or look back.

I dump the leaves out of the laundry basket. Bunny Fred has peed all over the towel they had put in the bottom. I hold up the towel and make the pee announcement. Bunny is gone. The kids scurry inside. I'm left holding the pee towel to wash. And, this is why Fred will stay in the yard.